Coming Out: How God Can Save Even the Homosexual

Is it possible or even right for someone to come out of homosexuality or any other LGBT lifestyle?  Recently there has been a lot of debate within the church and in the world on this question.  Many in our world believe it to be inhumane to influence someone in any way to change their sexual persuasion.  Some Christians have militantly made it their mission to gruffly try to strong-arm as many members of the LGBT community out of their lifestyles as possible.  Other groups of Christians have decided to embrace all the LGBT lifestyles instead of believing in the power of the Gospel to transform lives.  But this is not the way of the Gospel; God promises another way.  He promises in Christ to transform anyone from a life of sin and depravity to a life of holiness and below I have recorded one such story.

Recently I had the opportunity to sit down with a friend of mine, Brandon, who has experienced just this sort of change.  He was once gay and by the power of Christ has been transformed.  I felt it important to record his testimony and let it stand as a small beam of light among the popular rabble on the subject today.  What I like about Brandon’s testimony is that it was all by God; no program, nothing fancy, just God.  Faithful Christians shared the Gospel with Brandon and God persuaded him to change his lifestyle.

Without any further commentary, enjoy my conversation with Brandon as he explains how God changed him.

Jared:  Brandon, when and how did you realize you were gay?

Brandon:  I remember having desires that started about the third grade; more bisexual in nature and those persisted until I came into high school.  I was very alone, had no friends, and started thinking about life and things.  About my junior year of high school I began having very strong homosexual desires.  I never came out or told anyone about it.  My two best friends at that time were both girls.  One of my friends had heard a rumor that I was gay and she confronted me and asked me if it was true and I shrugged it off.  I don’t really know how I avoided answering her question but I did.  After my conversation with my friend, I began thinking that maybe this rumor was true about me.  Maybe I was gay.  It really became a defining moment in the way I started to see myself as gay.  I was letting what people were saying about me determine who I was.  My friends reinforced this as they encouraged me to explore homosexuality.

Jared: So as you went into to college how did your new identity change or progress?

Brandon: When I got in college, it was a very depressing time again with no friends.  My only friend was my roommate.  He happened to be a Christian, but didn’t force it on me or really make too much of it.  My freshman year was marked by continued thinking about life, my sexuality, and many things.

Jared: Did you even have a boyfriend or date?

Brandon: No I didn’t, and I feel like that if I had, it may have been a life altering moment that I may have never turned back from.  Honestly I was to scared to come out or take that next step.

Jared: So how did your homosexuality manifest itself?

Brandon: Pornography and the physical outworking of that.  I also always had feelings for guys, but again I was always to scared to come out or act on them.  In college my addiction to pornography really grew and began to take over my life.

Jared: So have you ever had anyone from the LGBT community hear your testimony and then accuse you of not really being gay?

Brandon: No, we all have experiences, and that community would never discount your experience.  Maybe some are further down the road than I was, but my feelings and addiction were real.  I don’t think they would question that; they are open to your experience. 

Jared: So I am interviewing you because you are now a Christian and claim that God has changed you from being gay and addicted to porn, so what started that change?

Brandon: My roommate invited me to church.  In my background I was a moralist and felt deep down that what I was doing was wrong, but didn’t know how to fix it.  I agreed to go because I saw church as moral and my roommate was my only friend.  I was a moralist before I was a Christian, so church appealed to me, though my motivation was wrong.  I am definitely not a moralist now that I am a follower of Christ, I don’t do morals now for morality’s sake, but as a response to the God I love.

Jared: When you went to church, was as it the first time you had ever been to church?

Brandon: No, I had been occasionally through Boy Scouts.

Jared: Did you start going regularly?

Brandon: Yes, after a couple of weeks to a month of attending church, my roommate mentioned that he also attended an on campus Christian group called CRU (Campus Crusade for Christ), and there I began to experience a more authentic community.  Funny enough my roommate invited me to CRU, but when I decided to go he was busy, so I went alone, just like always.

Jared: Was that the first time you ever experienced a real community?

Brandon: Yes, I did soccer and Boy Scouts growing up, but I never really had any close friends in those endeavors, just empty activities, CRU was the first time.

Jared: So how did your experiences at Church and CRU lead you to become a Christian?

Brandon: At church I was regularly hearing the gospel preached, and I was beginning to agree and understand more and more.  The first time I went to CRU, A Guy at crew asked me if I wanted to meet the following day and I said yes because no one ever invited me to anything.  I remember meeting with him and hammering him on his beliefs.  I was asking questions like “How do you know the Bible is true?,” “Is there really a God?,””How do you know Jesus really was raised from the dead?,” etc.  But there was something different about him, there was a peace, joy, and he had strong settled convictions about what he believed. After the first meeting I attended at CRU I was so elated by what I had experienced, even though I hammered the guy the next day, I just wanted to make sure Christianity was full proof.  I really didn’t need the answers that I was badgering my friend for, the big thing that made a difference in my life was the fact that he cared to meet with me. In fact, I was so touched and happy that I cried all night.  After the next couple of weeks, I looked more deeply into Christianity, religion in general, and the “Is there a God?” question.  It seemed like everything lined up.  I needed friends, and guy friends, and I didn’t think men like my new friend existed.

After lots of searching and questioning, I gave my life to Christ and started reading the Bible and meeting with a mentor.  We began to discuss the things that authentic Christians do and do not do because you believe what God prescribes for you is the best thing for you.  I had a two-month period of wrestling through my addiction and having men be in my life to pray for me and for me to be accountable to them.

Jared: What was it like the first time you rolled out your lifestyle and pornography addiction to your new Christian friends?

Brandon: I had been thinking about my lifestyle and as I was learning a lot about what it meant to be a Christian. Through the Holy Spirit working in my heart, I kept seeing these things in my life as bad, sinful things.  Actually talking to my mentor the first time about everything was very hard.

Jared: The change in your life from being gay and addicted to porn to becoming a Christian and gaining control over your desires is very dramatic, how would you describe it?

Brandon: Miraculous.  I had to put in a lot of effort as well, I had a new desire to change and did everything I could to make a change, but the actually work was all God.  I am still not sure how He has changed my mind and perspective.  My habit was very deep for two years and the other years it was not as deep.  I was lured in by some of my so-called friends and honestly I didn’t think I would get hooked.  It is amazing how many people think they won’t get addicted.  And then after that one time it is an addiction like most other addictions.  I have been clean for almost two years and I am praising God everyday.

Jared: Would you consider yourself gay now?

Brandon: I am happy (smile and laughter), but I know that is not what people mean!  No, I do not see myself as gay anymore, God has changed me.

Jared: What do you think about people that claim to be gay and Christian?

Brandon: I would tell those people that change is possible, anything is possible with God.

I think people try to look for loopholes; they look for ways in which they think they can have the best of both worlds, live in the community of the church, and yet do whatever they please sexually in rebellion against God.  But that is not living out the Holy lives God has called us to lead.  I would encourage people that are struggling with homosexuality to be honest with themselves and get in a community where they can be accountable with somebody.  Then I would encourage them to attempt with God a radical transformation.  Let Christ and Holy Spirit do the work.  When you become a Christian, the desire to live in accordance with what God calls His people to will be shown forth in our actions, if you desire to change, you will make a significant conscious effort to change.  Of course there is always the debate that maybe you are born with it and maybe you learn it, and really both may be true in different cases, but God is not limited by your experience or genetics.

I think people in the LGBT community need to hear testimonies from other believers that have come out of those lifestyles.  This is part of why I agreed to do this interview.  I want people to know that change is possible with God.  I didn’t think it was possible, people need to hear testimonies of lives changed by Christ.  If your Christian commitment really means something to you, you will attempt change with God.  I recognize I sound extreme, but I don’t want to limit what God can do.  If you are gay God can change you.

Jared: How do suggest the church loving engage the LGBT community with the Gospel?

Brandon: Well for starters, stop Bible bashing. 2 Timothy is a good source for looking at what it means to correct people gently, not drastically and unlovingly.  For the most part, the LGBT community has it right that they are condemned in the church before they speak.

I think we need to learn not to elevate their sin over other sin; all sin has the same roots of evil, a heart in rebellion against God.  We need to learn to be loving in the ways we reach out to this community.  Take my testimony for example, someone invited me to church and CRU and the Gospel did the rest.  God convicted me of my sin and as I submitted my life to Him, I wanted to change.

Jared: So you do believe homosexuality is a sin?

Brandon: Yes, it doesn’t matter what I think, God has laid it out clearly in His word as sin.

Jared: So some who have come out of a LGBT lifestyle remain celibate or decide never really to engage in the world of sexuality again, what do you see for your life?

Brandon: I want to get married to a woman and have kids.  Have the normal life that I wanted but didn’t think was possible.

Jared: I really appreciate you taking the time to share your testimony with me.  It has blessed my soul and reminded me that God is powerful enough to save anyone out of anything.  My prayer is that God would use your testimony greatly in the years to come to help others find their way out of the LGBT community into the arms of a loving God in the face of Christ.

Brandon: My pleasure.