Trail Runs, Targums, and Total Depravity
Anytime
I start something new in life, at least important and large new ventures, there
is a level of anxiety that seems to come with it. Can I complete this new task? Am I good enough?
Is this what God has really called me to? Will this thing be worth of my time, energy, and money? I have been asking myself these
questions over and over again as I have recently started to pursue a PhD in Old
Testament from Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary, soon to be Gateway Seminary.
I
love the Old Testament, its mystery, its power, and the foundation it lays for
the Gospel as well as the previews of the same that it gives throughout. Many evangelicals find no value in the
Old Testament, seeing it as being superseded by the New Testament. Or they find
it so hard to understand that they go back to reading their favorite epistle of
Paul. The Old Testament is still
in need of great study. The more
we can learn about how God has revealed Himself in the Old Testament and how it
informs our understanding of the New Testament, the better we will understand
the fruition of the Gospel in Christ.
Long
ago Rabbi’s would offer Targums or expansions and instruction on the Old
Testament in the common language of the people. Think about Targums as being similar to commentaries and yet
with aspects of instruction one would find in a sermon and definitely more
authoritative. It is my hope that
through my study of the Old Testament over the next several years that by God’s
grace I might just be able to add a few drops in the bucket of our
understanding. That I might be
able to help a few see the Glory of God and His plan of salvation as it is
slowly revealed in the Old Testament.
That once again many of us would give the Old Testament a second look
and find the Glory of God that has been revealed there for centuries. It is important that our generation
continue scholarship on the very beginning of God’s revelation to us in the Old
Testament. I hope that I, by God’s
Grace, can continue to expand the majesty of the Old Testament for believers
today.
Yet,
as I have said, starting a PhD program is a daunting task; one that I do not
feel adequate for. I believe God
is leading me in this direction but everyday I see my inadequacies. Lingering sin patterns, an aging body
and mind, the pressures of providing for my family and serving my congregation
well. It is when we look up the
hill of a noble task that many times we see our total depravity. Our desperate need for God to produce
anything good in us since we are nothing in and of ourselves but depraved. It is my hope that God, as He has
faithfully done for many years, will in this new season of my life produce in
me what He always desires, more of the image of His Son. Christ in Me; my only hope for
righteousness. And I hope that He
would keep my from the many pitfalls of believing that I am good enough, smart
enough, to do this in my own strength.
I hope that my studies will be a new experience of His redeeming Grace.
During
the first seminar week of my program I got a few moments away and I went
running on some of the beautiful trails that surround the San Francisco Bay
area. Sometimes running is the
best medicine for a cluttered mind and heart. It is always a great time for me to relax and listen to
God. I like to sort through the
day and process many things. But
most of all I think God consistently uses my time on the trail to reinforce a
grand image; and image of perseverance.
Starting new things is easy but they quickly get hard. Starting a new trail in the mountains
is always fun, but a mile into your first climb you are wondering why you
thought this was a good idea. Then
the perseverance begins, God reminds you that He is with you all the way, not
in a trite Philippians 4:13 poster kind of way, but that literal He is always
with you. I persevere because God
is with me; I keep my eyes on Him.
As
I run I begin to have a conversation with Him that takes my mind off the pain
and I begin to persevere. Just as
in life, in the midst of my circumstances if I can just keep my eyes on Him, I
can begin to persevere. Every time
I run I am also reminded that the way that leads to life is narrow and broad is
the path that leads to destruction (Matthew 7:13-14). And so I run my small path, mostly uphill, and I trust God
to be with me. Sometimes I get to
run with good Christian friends and here again God teaches me to persevere with
His people and the blessing it can be to have good friends in tough times. But soon enough the run is over, we
reminisce about the scenery we took in, the hard climbs, the fun and quick downhill
sections, the mutual conversation in the presence of God, and we rejoice in
life. Then we find ourselves at a
new trailhead.
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